White Lesson 2/30
Interview your potential Dominant/submissive.
What you will need to complete today !
1X Ice cream stick painted white
Your Dominant/submissive is out there, seeking you, hungering for you, wondering where you are, so let's do something about it today. Have you ever thought about how you will conduct yourself during this type of interview, and how will you handle yourself during the interview because lets face it, it's a very important interview and it can be nerve wrecking and you can also forget some of the questions you want to ask.
Today we cover this with you and try help you get through a lot of questions that will help get to know one another, however you are always welcome to add some extra questions that you can ask a potential Dominant/submissive on top of the questions given to you today in the course, so maybe if there are a few that you would like to ask add them to the bottom of the page and ask away, after all this is all about getting to know one another better.
Over the past few years, as I have explored the lifestyle, one of the recurring questions I've heard is...... How do I find a good Dominant ? Or how do I find a good submissive ? There are several articles on the Net suggesting places to look.....local D/s BDSM groups, introductions from friends, online, personal,munches, etc. (This can be scary, intimidating and/or sometimes even dangerous). What I haven't run across yet is someone asking me.... what questions should I ask a prospective Dominant/submissive once I've found one of interest ? If you are evaluating a potential life mate for a D/s relationship, these questions could be just a start of a lifetime of conversations.
Here are some tips. Be sweet but sceptical. There are relatively few quality, single, monogamous Dominant's in the world, an awful lot of the so-called Dominant's you're likely to meet, are insincere and/or unsafe especially on kink sites. Don't give a stranger the benefit of the doubt. Don't grant Him more trust that He's earned.
Present your questions as expressions of interest. Your objective is information, but let Him see that you're intrigued by Him and want to know all about Him. And proceed at a relaxed pace, making space for Him to query you about things. Start with instant messaging, it's interactive, and you can tell something about the Dominant from the speed and clarity of His answers. However, email may work better than IM via phone, since typing on a tiny screen is slow and error-prone. Make phone calls without caller-ID. When ready to continue the discussion by phone, make a talk appointment, and place the call yourself, so you can hide your number. Re ask important questions a few times, over they answered questions previously, so you'll hear inconsistent responses. So what questions should I ask a prospective Dominant once I've found one of interest ? This could even be named how do I interview a potential "Top/Dominant/Master/Mistress/bottom/submissive/charge/slave".
Also if you hear something in an answer that intrigues you, or concerns you, or surprises you, ask more about it. To get the details, you can use follow up questions, referring to the specific point you wish to clarify, such as :
1. You mentioned . That's really interesting to me. Can you please tell me more about that ?
2. I'm not sure I understand ; can you give me an example of what you mean ?
3. Fascinating.... why do you feel was important ?
4. That's just the kind of answer I was hoping to hear...... tell me more about it, please.
By doing it this way you will probably lean as much about a person by what they "don't" tell you as what they do.
Another thing is how long do they take to answer a question ? Do they evade it, or redirect it, or suddenly have to take a phone call ? Avoidance of a question is a big RED FLAG.
Please make sure you answer the section that says questions for both, and also the section that says questions for submissive to answer and send to the Dominant, then there is a question to answer right at the bottom.
Questions for both Dominant and submissive to answer and send to one another :
Your role's as Dominant and submissive.
1) Who will be questioned as the Dominant and answering the only Dominant questions ?
Master Jamy
2) Who will be questioned as the submissive and answering the only submissive questions ?
submissive kitten
Let's start off with some Character Questions :
1) Please tell me a story of your childhood that will help me better understand the person you are today ?
When I was growing up I actually had a good childhood my mother and father were
until I was 11 years old and then got divorced but I spent my time growing up and still
got to see my dad. My mom taught me a lot in my youth and nothing really bad
happened, so I would say I had a pretty average childhood.
I had a normal childhood with two brothers and two sisters. I was the youngest and
I was my Dad's little girl and always wanted to make my Dad happy & proud of me.
My siblings say that Dad spoilt me and I didn't get along aw with my Mom.
2) What do you feel is your greatest failure so far, and what did you learn from it ?
I had a very prestigious job in my early twenties and I messed it up because that time in
my life I thought that friends and partying were more important than anything else it has
a lot of promise that's probably the greatest failure of all.
I married a young man that my father wished I would at the young age of 20. After 10
years my marriage broke down and we got divorced. I learned that I needed to communicate better to my partner to be the head of the household and to give me some
directions. I feel this was my biggest failure.
3) What do you feel is your greatest success ?
I've recorded a few songs in the studio and won a couple of battle of the bands regional
in South Africa. I still work hard at my talents which is music.
I have raised my two children to be good christians, they are my pride and joy. After raising
my children, I went into College and earned my degree in Business Management School. I
this part of my life to be my greatest fulfilling success.
4) Who has been the most influential person in your life, up till now, and why ?
I would say my father has been although he wasn't there is for parts of my life, he always
instilled wisdom and I am very grateful to him and everything he has done for me even
still today.
My parents, my father he lead and directed the family growing up and mom she always
listened to what father said. my mom showed submissive traits to my father. This is
where I grew up with seeing how a Dominant/submissive would be somewhat like.
5) What do you feel are your strengths, and what do you feel you would like to change or improve ?
My strengths are I'm a very compassionate person and I trust easily which has proved
wrong in the passed, but I always give someone new the benefit of the doubt in most
situations. Over time I've learned to have a lot more patience and I am still working on that.
My strengths are that I try my best, I'm loyal and honest. Because of being on the shy side
I need to improve in my confidence and open up easier to people.
6) How would you describe your personal values and beliefs ?
My personal values and beliefs are always be open and honest in any situation no matter
how hard it may be to talk about, rather the ugly truth than a beautiful lie. I believe in
honesty, trust and fairness.
I have a christian life and believe in God. I value honesty and the truth no matter how it
may hurt someone's feelings they need to hear the truth. I believe a christian submissive
can live a fulfilling life in the Dom/sub lifestyle, it would help also if my Dom had some
belief in God and supported me.
7) What are your life dreams and ambitions ?
In the future I will be a Great Grand Master, it's going to take time but I will get there and
I also want to Dominate the South African music scene.
Mu first dream was to be a clothing designer and with events throughout my life it changed
into a dream of Running a Major Department Store of my own and I fulfilled that dream.
Now I've turned my ambitions to being the best of me as a true submissive with a very kind
and loving Dom.
8) What question are you dreading that I will ask ?
Will you marry me hahaha.
What has caused you to come to me for guidance and instruction.
9) What question do you hope I will ask you ?
You can ask me anything actually, I really don't mind at all.
If I would love being a slave to your Dom.
Here are some Life Questions :
1) I'd like to get more of a feel for you. What does your home look like ? Is it a house, apartment, condo, or what ? (If you are communicating online or on the phone) Describe the room you are in right now or describe your favourite room of the house.
I live in a five bedroom house, it's got a big front and back garden with a lapa. I'm sitting
in the lounge answering the questions for you. My favourite room would be my bedroom
of course.
I live in a four bedroom house, the front yard is small with a tall tree to shade the living
room from the sun. In the back yard there is a patio area, some grass and a small space
for a garden. Right now I'm in the computer room answering all these questions for you
Master Jamy. I share this house with a girl friend and my favourite room is the living room
where we share each other's company. As you may now see I don't live with any Dom and
now on my own.
2) Would you tell me a bit about the past relationships in your life ?
Most of life I've been in vanilla relationships and they were good while it lasted, I've had
long fulfilling ones but that's all in the past and I'm on search for a submissive to collar
one day.
I had a vanilla relationship with my husband that was not fulfilling for me. In one of my last
relationships it started out very good then slowly as he drank the beatings started and they
got so bad that I was hospitalized. He acted like a Dominant but was not a true one. After
my last hospital visit of being beaten badly, pregnant and bleeding, it resulted in losing my
baby and no chance of having anymore. I don't like to remember that part of my life and I
try to forget and move on from it.
3) Why are you looking for a partner ow ? What is your current relationship status ?
I am single now and I'm only looking to train you as my submissive before I make a
decision to collar her, but it's definitely something I am going to do.
I am single and have tried two vanilla relationships that were sexually unfulfilling and two who say they were a Dominant but were abusive towards me and didn't act like a Dominant
should be like (patient, loving,trustworthy,truthful, etc). I wish to be in a loving and comfortable caring relationship with a true Dominant whom I can serve as His submissive.
4) Do you face any health issues ? If yes, what are they ?
No I don't have any health issues. I'm pretty fit and healthy.
Sad to say yes I do have two health issues, they are high blood pressure which is under
control and mild COPD which is being controlled with medication. For more strenuous
activities sometimes I just need a minute or two to get my breath back under control.
5) What do you like to do for leisure activities ?
I like to go for long walks and runs also like to keep fit. I play indoor cricket and also love
my music which I do every Friday night.
I like to read, scrapbooking, going for leisure walks especially along the ocean beaches.
I also like to go quading (ATV's) in the mountains . I have started a yoga class for fitness.
6) What kind of car do you drive, and why did you buy that one ?
Currently I don't have a cor, mine was stolen so it's a bit tricky at the moment but it's
only temporary.
I own a Small Truck, I feel more safer sitting up higher and can see traffic better. This is
why I bought it. I used to own a sports car until I seen what it looks like in an accident.
7) Describe two typical days for you....one of your work days, and one of your days off.
Work hours are hectic when in the workshop and always busy, but when I'm at home I
relax and just have leisure time, spend it with family and friends.
I work with an Accounting Firm doing some help there 2 0r 3 times a week, and I also have
my own clients where I do at home via internet. I usually spend Saturdays cleaning and
doing some laundry. Sundays I go to Church and have coffee with the congregation after
wards in the fellowship hall.
8) What did you study in school ? What were your favorite courses ? Did you have any teachers who influenced you more that others ?
I was in a technical high school and finished in 1989. We only had six subjects, they were
English, Afrikaans, Math, Science, Technical, Drawing, and my trade subject which was
metal craft or steel work. I studied nothing further.
We had English, Math, Science, Social Studies, Textiles (cooking & sewing), Wood Working
and Mechanics, English Lit. I took all the courses except Wood Working & Mechanics and I
majored in Sewing & Designing ( which was my plan to become a clothing designer). I had
two teachers that influenced me, my Math teacher he always said he is here to teach the
that needed teaching, I was allowed to go at my own pace and completed all my Math
courses in grade 8 ( completing 5 years in 1 year) and the other teacher He noticed I had a
bit of a reading problem and coached me in how to correct it and live with it.
Mixed, getting to know one another questions :
1) What is your favourite food ?
Cheese Burgers Pizza
2) What is the #1 most played song on your I Pod/Mp3 player ?
5 minutes alone b Pantera Mp3 - All of Me Loves All of You by John Legend
3) What is one of your favourite quotes ?
Live, Love and Laugh Eat, drink & be Merry
4) What is your favourite indoor activity ?
Indoor Cricket and Football Playing Games or Reading
5) What is your favourite outdoor activity ?
Cricket on a full pitch , going to concerts and being involved in music.
Going for walks and walking or swim in the ocean.
6) What chore do you absolutely hate doing ?
I don't like ironing. I dislike cleaning the toilet.
7) What is your favourite form of exercise ?
Full body workout. Exercise Bicycle and Dancing.
8) Do you prefer going to a restaurant or a dinner for 2 at home ?
Both but restaurant more. I prefer two at home, but will accept a restaurant.
9) What is your least favourite mode of transportation ?
Africans taxi Riding on a Motorcycle.
10) What is your favourite body part ?
My chest. My breasts.
11) What sound do you love ?
Sounds of new bass guitar strings The sound of Birds singing.
12) What is your date of birth ?
01 November 1970 10 November 1968
13) What is your all time favourite movie ?
300 Spartans Titanic
14) What type of movie interest you ?
I like most movies as long as the story line is good, but horror and comedy and some
animation is good to watch.
I do like most movies but Romance, Suspense, Si-fi and Thrillers are more of my
favourites.
Would you rather..... :
1) Go to a play or musical ?
Musical Play
2) Go to the theatre or a movie ?
Movie Movie
3) Hike or bike ?
Hike Hike
4) Read on a Kindle or paperback book ? This question is a starter for may possible conversations on reading, favourite books, technology, libraries, bookstores, and more.
Kindle Kindle
5) Wear jeans or chinos ?
Jeans Neither, prefer Dresses or Casual Slacks
6) Crash with friends or stay in a hotel ?
Crash with friends Stay with friends
7) Go skiing or snowshoeing ?
Skiing Neither, don't care for either
8) Travel by plane, train, or automobile ?
Plane Plane
9) Go to a comedy club or dance club ?
Comedy Club Comedy Club
10) Watch TV or read a book ?
Watch TV Read a Book while the TV is playing
11) Go canoeing or water skiing
Water Skiing Neither, never went water skiing, canoeing to unstable for me.
12) Camp in an RV or stay in a tent ?
In a Tent. In an RV.
13) Use Face book or Twitter ?
Facebook Facebook
14) Win the lottery or find your perfect job ?
Perfect Job Find my Perfect Job
15) Swim in a pool or the ocean ?
In the Ocean of course. I love the Ocean.
16) Salt water and waves crashing on the beach or temperature controlled, lovely water all year round ?
The Salt water with waves crashing on the beach.
The Salt water and waves crashing on the beach.
17) Travel by sailboat or cruise ship ?
Sail boat. Sail boat.
18) Watch sports or play sports ?
Both, but I like to watch. Not really into sports.
19) Dominant and submissive together discuss what will you call one another from now on ?
You can call me Master Jamy or Master and I will call you Kitten or submissive or good
girl. I will call you Master and you can call me Kitten or Master's choice.
20) Tell one another why you chose that name ?
It's a fitting Title for me as I am the training Dominant and I prefer to give the
submissive a new name.
I choose Master as it shows Respect to my Dominant and a pet name like kitten shows
affection towards the submissive.
21) Tell your potential Dominant/submissive why you want to be in this D/s relationship ?
The pleasure of teaching and training someone new and teach you kitten the real
meaning and value behind bdsm. It's an honour in itself.
Master Jamy I wish to be in this relationship with you so that I may learn and grow in
my submission in a good and correct way.
22) What do you want out of this ?
That you become the best submissive that you can be and it is a pleasure in itself for
me as your Dominant to train you.
I want to learn and grown as a submissive so I may submit to my Dominant and Master,
while pleasing Him in my submission.
23) How do you want to feel ?
To be constantly trusted and honoured.
To feel loved, happy, safe and trusted.
24) Have you ever felt the way you want to feel ?
Yes because I had a submissive and have trained submissive's before.
Yes and No, I felt loved some but never felt safe, trusted.
25) If yes on 24 under what circumstances ?
That I have gained the respect and trust through constant training of my submissive and
have guided other submissives to reach their potential.
I have felt loved some but not fully, nor have I felt safe, protected, cherished by my last
other Dominants.
26) What parts of your body do you tend to feel most protective of ?
Nothing actually. My heart and feelings.
27) Have you been tied up before ?
No, I do the tying up always ! Yes I've been tied up.
28) Have you tied anyone else up before ?
Yes, I have many times. No, I haven't been allowed.
29) What kind of pain do you enjoy giving/receiving ?
I enjoy giving a lot of pain, I can be a bit of a sadist.
I have a medium pain threshold but I prefer to receive the pain through floggers, crop,
spankings, and I believe most Dominants are a bit of a sadist.
30) What experience do you have with kink ?
I have a few years experience already. Have taken training in pain/pleasure, forced
orgasms, abrasion play and many more.
My experience with kink in the proper sense is low, I have experience in wax play,pain/
pleasure play and I have also have had experience with abusive/beatings relationships.
31) What sort of power dynamics/exchange are you interested in working with ?
Dominant and submissive.
Dom/sub, I'm not sure if I want to be slave again, last one was I flet unsafe and in danger.
32) What kind of mood is ideal for you ?
Happy. Happy but can be mischievous.
33) What other kinks do you have ?
I have a lot here. I enjoy being bound and tied.
34) What have other Dominant's/submissive's done that you have loved ?
Just being Obedient and doing the best that you can all the time will pay off.
Going to a masked party and being dressed in corsets and lace etc.
35) What have other Dominant's/submissive's done that have bothered you ?
Not handing in their work or ignored or lied to me which is one things that I do not have
any patients for.
Hearing of submissives going into dungeon scenes, pain and torture
36) What is a hard limit that you have that you can think of right now ?
Don't ignore me and don't lie to me. Sadism/masochism
37) Do you have any health issues I should be aware of such as allergies, ongoing or old injuries ?
No, I have no health issues at all. I have a mild breathing problem.
38) Do you experience any mental illness that might impact playing ?
No, I don't. No, I don't.
39) Do you take any drugs or medications on a regular basis ?
No, I don't. Yes, on a puffer for breathing.
40) Do you have any breathing or circulation issues ?
No, I don't. Yes, just breathing.
41) Do you have any medication you might need to take quickly or regularly ?
No, I don't. Yes, just my puffer.
42) How long have you been involved in the D/s lifestyle, and what led you to it in the first
place ?
Ten years, vanilla life was not fulfilling for me.
Twenty years, the relationship with Master William seen the submissiveness in me.
43) Do you have or plan to have more than one Dominant/slave/submissive ?
No, you'll be my only submissive.
I prefer to have only one dominant and only me.
44) What sort of relationship are you looking for ? Online only, phone, real world, potential
marriage/permanent partner ?
Online for now and work towards a potential permanent partner.
I want a real world relationship and work towards a potential permanent partner.
45) How much time are you willing to devote to your Dominant/submissive ?
As much time as possible and as much time as needed.
As much time as possible with both of us working and with how much time is necessary.
46) How much of His/her time would you require in return ?
The exact same. It would be nice to have the same amount of time.
47) Would you have daily contact with your Dominant/submissive ?
Yes of course I will, every single day. Yes, I would love to have daily contact every day.
48) Do you indulge in these pleasures with women/men in "real life" ?
Yes, but if something arises I will discuss it with my submissive first.
Yes and only with my Dominant.
49) If so, what precautions for health and safety are involved ?
Safety is of the utmost importance to me always.
Safety is important and to always use a condoms and monthly health checks until the
relationship becomes permanent.
50) What type of safety precautions do you feel are necessary for an online or phone relation-
ship ?
That will be openness, honesty and trust. Communication must be clear and to the
point always.
For an online/phone relationship there must be open and honest communication and
I suggest having a back ground check for there are many phony and deceiving Dominants
as well as submissives out there ready to prey on others.
51) What made you decide this was for you ?
It was something I was always curious about but only late in life decided to change my
lifestyle and become a Dominant.
I have always had this feeling of wanting to please the partner that I was with. But it was
later while in a relationship that he seen submissiveness in me and used it to his a
advantage. Then in another relationship this Dominant I was with but didn't want to teach
me properly as He didn't follow any lifestyle rules.Then I found this course and Master
Jamy and I wanted to be trained and taught the true ways of being a submissive. I knew
from being a teenager that I was a little different and I was my daddy's little girl and I
wanted to make the male in my life happy and proud of me, his little girl.
Dominant Only :
1) What sort of training/education have you had to be the Dominant member of this
relationship ?
I have great mentors and I've been training for ten years now and with certificates.
2) Have you had experience training a submissive that is new to D/s ?
Yes, I have and now I want to have a submissive of my own to train, love and cherish.
3) What do you require of your submissive and of yourself ?
That we both give our all and do your best as this can be a very great experience for
the both of us.
4) What sort of structured training do you prefer to use (Just the course or your added own
training ) ?
Let's use the course training for now and as the course goes on and we decide that we
both wish to make this a permanent relationship and a real one and then I will add
some of my own training to it.
5) Do you have any references available that I might contact ?
Yes, I do... The Honourable Great Grand Master Clinton. Grand Master Ethan. Grand
Master Ryan. Grand Master Edward. Grand Master Bradley.
Now you asked one another questions, what happens next ?
It's time to decide.
Decide :
1) (Dominant) Do you want her to be your submissive ?
Yes, I do.
2) (submissive) Do you want to submit to Him as your Dominant ?
Yes, I do.
If both questions above have been answered yes then does the submissive agree to address the Dominant by the following title(s) ?
Master Jamy --- Yes, I do
Sir --- Yes, I do.
Today's to do list :
1) Read all the work. -- Completed
2) Answer all the questions honestly. Completed
3) Send it to your Dominant. Completed
4) Make a copy of the Dominant and the submissive's questions and answers and keep it in a safe place. Completed
5) Write interview on your Ice cream stick and keep it.
Grand Master Clinton.
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I hope you all enjoyed this lesson on how to interview a potential Dominant/submissive.
I enjoyed it at the time I did this lesson and I learned so much on how to conduct a very
good and productive interview.
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