Lesson 16 Of 30 Safe, Sane & Consensual (SSC) ...

White Lesson 16/30


SAFE, SANE & CONSENSUAL (SSC) :


What you will need to complete today :
3X Ice cream sticks painted white.

When you first enter the BDSM community one of the largest , most used phrases you will
here is SSC, also known as Safe, Sane and Consensual.

Many people just starting in the lifestyle have had a very limited dealings with other people
who are into BDSM. Their ideas and experiences are often limited to books they have read,
scenarios they have imagined, and relationships they may have had in cyberspace. All of
these realms are very often firmly rooted in fantasy and can bear little if any resemblance to
real life. This, many people new to the lifestyle have some very unrealistic expectations about 

how to behave and how others might treat them.

As a submissive, you have a lot of responsibility to keeping yourself safe and well.

Safe, sane and consensual (SSC) in the BDSM community, are common principles guiding

relationships and activities.

The principles are that BDSM activities should be :

Safe : attempts should be made to identify and prevent risks to health.

Sane : activities should be undertaken in a sane and sensible frame of mind.

Consensual : all activities should involve the full consent of all parties involved.

 Saff, Sane and Consensual, except to hear this phrase over and over. What "safe, sane and 

consensual" basically means is that you take precautions to prevent accidents, you don't

do anything that is obviously dangerous, and you know your play partner and negotiate in

advance what activities you are both willing to engage in. It also means defining and

using of safe words during play. Safe, sane and consensual means no one is ever obligated

to do anything they don't want to, even if it was something they previously agreed to.

Anyone who does not live up to this standard is not safe to play with.

Some people in the BDSM community do not consider SSC to be an accurate term for

these relationships or activities. The term Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) is

sometimes used as a substitute description, but that will be done on a different lesson

in the course.

Definition --- What does Safe, Sane and Consensual ( SSC ) mean ?

SAFE

Safe is being knowledgeable about the techniques and safety concerns involved in what 

you are doing, and acting in accordance with that knowledge. Safety includes the

responsibility of protecting yourself and your partner from STD ( sexually transmitted

disease ) infection including the HIV virus.

Some people who enjoy kink aren't into gadgetry or fancy equipment, but others are.

Some obvious equipment with the potential for damage are sensory deprivation masks,

urethral sounds, genital clamps, and suspension devices, but even simpler tools such

as rope, belts, or paddles could leave lasting damage or even prove fatal if play partners

aren't adequately prepared.  Sudy up, not just on use of your equipment, but on basic

human anatomy, too. Some parts of the body , like on the back near the kidneys, are

riskier places to be struck. Consider the risk of losing circulation if you're playing with

rope or her. Make sure your submissive can breathe if you're using a ball gag or mask.

Practice whipping a pillow before trying is on your submissive.

Practice trying basic knots before attempting more intricate bondage.

Minimize burn risks uf you're playing with hot wax.

While most essays you read will undoubtedly say that you need to play safely with

respect to using barriers, which you play with and within your knowledge level or

experience level none of them touch  on relationship safety.

Safety as far as relationships go would be protecting what you feel to be valuable.

This would be your limits, your needs and wants and any other substantial believe

systems you already have in place.  such as religion or family ties.

You also want to protect your physical and emotional safety. During negotiations for a

relationship, or just getting to know one another, figure out how your partner plans to

take care of you and if they will allow you some leeway in how you can care for your

self if needed. Even slaves have responsibility to make sure that their emotional and

physical well-being is taken care of.

These might sound like a lot of rules, but if your partner trusts you with his or her body,

you need to be able to trust yourself, too. Emotional safety is as important as 

physical safety when it comes to sex and power play, which brings us to the second

item of the BDSM ethics code.

SANE 

Sane knows the difference between fantasy and reality.

In BDSM practice, this requires considerable introspection on the part of both Dominant 

and submissive partners. Ask yourself, are the activities we're engaging in going to open

emotional wounds, and do I trust my partner to take care of me in a state of vulnerability ?

Do I have a handle on my sadism, and am I capable of balancing it with loving kindness ?

Am I doing this because I enjoy it, or out of a sense of quilt or obligation ? Check in with

yourself and your partner, and don't be afraid to set limits based on what feels emotionally

safe for you. Play only with partners with whom you know you limits will be respected. Do

not equate genuine cruelty with kink.

If establishing ahead of time because you don't know what your limits are, another way 

to ensure sanity and safety is to agree on a "safe word" for moments when things no

longer feel safe or OK. In many cases, this word is never used, but there's no shame in

having one handy. The use of a safe word connects to the third and final descriptor in

the BDSM ethics code.

Sane also distinguished between mental illness and health. A real distinction between 

mental illness and health is when a behaviour pattern causes problems in a person's life.

Washing our hands until the skin is peeling off, or so frequently that you can not otherwise

function is a sign mental illness. For sanity the essays out there stick with knowing fantasy

from reality and not acting on fantasy. There is so much more attached to the word sane

though, what about expectations of service; keep them realistic. No submissive should be

expected to learn 4 pages of rules and protocol in a short period of time or kneel for hours

on end without a break. This is what fantasy porn is made of.

Also, listen to your gut about red flags and uneasiness. You generally don't have invalid

feelings when you feel it in your gut. If something feels crazy, then it's perfectly okay to

investigate it. Keep it yourself sane.

CONSENSUAL : 

Consensual is respecting the limits imposed by each participant at all times.

Most forms of BDSM involve the creative surrender or takeover of control; however, this

works harmoniously only between two or more consenting partners. Establishing consent

may seem murky when people are playing out fantasies that involve force or domination,

but there are many ways to ensure your partner is enjoying his or her experience. Agreeing

on a safe word is important, as is respect between partners.

The idea of respect may seem confusing or even comical if humiliation or shame is integral

to your fantasy. Rather than focusing on respectful words or behaviours, we can think of

respect as an overall commitment to mutual safety and pleasure. Submissive partners are

responsible for communicating their own limits, and Dominant's should be committed to

the quality of their subs experiences. Look at your partner's face; look at his or her body

language. Notice any tension that exists for you alone or between you and your partner.

Trust your gut.

The type and parameters of control are agreed upon by the people involved, and the ongoing

consent of the participants is required. Some practitioners use safe word, which is a 

designated word that signals the scene must slow down or stop.

Of course the two or more parties involved should agree to the play activities, it's pretty

much a given. BDSM isn't about forcing the unwilling at all. But also, this part of SSC covers

illegal activities such as incest, child abuse, animal abuse and other unsavoury activities,

When relating it to relationships consensual should be that all relationship items should be

agreed upon. There are good Dominants and bad Dominants. Holding onto your wits and

enforcing your rights should keep the bad ones at bay. This means that no rules should be

forced upon you that you don't want todo.

All in all, keep it safe, sane and consensual.

Today's to do List :

1) Today after reading this, write about it in the safety section of your file.

2) Write on your Ice cream sticks, on one write SAFE on another write SANE and on the

     last one write CONSENSUAL and keep them as they all be used again in one or

     two days time.

Grand Master Clinton

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Good Evening Master Jamy

Here is my work for today :

1) Today after reading  this, write about it in the safety section of your file.

2) Write on your Ice cream sticks, on one write SANE, on another write SANE and on the

     last one write CONSENSUAL and keep them as they all be used again in one or

     two days time.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

                Thanks for listening to me through this lesson on SSC, Safe Sane & Consensual. I do

                    hope & pray that you learned more about SSC and what it all does for the

                        participants and how it can protect you both.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Lesson 15 of 30 Training Collar ......

White Lesson 15/30


TRAINING COLLAR :

What you will need to complete today :
A White Kitten Collar
1X Bead with Dominant's Initial on.

The Collar used in  submissive training  will represent the first collar exchanged between the Dominant and submissive, this collar is white and it will have a bead attached to it with the Dominant's first initial. (If you have a Dominant already and wearing His Collar then His collar
is the one to be used.) If the submissive that don't have a Dominant use the white course
collar with a bead attached to it.

Today a training collar will be offered to the submissive by the Dominant. You will be getting
your submissive training collar this will also make you feel more submissive and you can
get your submission into the perfect mind frame. Once your collar is place on your arm you will
automatically feel like a special submissive, because that is what you are to your training
Dominant.

So let's read about a training collar and what is a training collar for ?

A training collar is to show that a person is rather new to either the BDSM lifestyle or a
particular aspect of the lifestyle. There is an agreement between trainer and trainee to teach and learn. The training collar is a symbol of the devotion and commitment the submissive
has for the Dominant.

A training collar can also be used  in another way. A Dominant can give a training collar to a
particular submissive ; in order to train and mentor her in correct behaviour and protocols
whilst she is searching for her ideal Dominant with whom she will then pursue a serious
lifelong D/s relationship.

The mentoring Dominant will help in the search, and will give advice and training whilst doing
so. This submissive is treated as if owned by the Mentoring Dominant, until such times as she
is released to another. Again as with protection collars, it is usually a Dominant of high standing and respects that becomes a Mentor.

A collar is a very important symbol to a submissive entering into training with a Dominant.
Every submissive dream's about the day they will feel that collar around their neck, the
feeling of being owned and collared, today's collar will not be for around your neck but a
training collar for around your wrist.

A training collar means that the person has been accepted into training but has not proven
themselves to be a submissive.

The training collar is put on a submissive by a Dominant; it generally does not have a permanent locking mechanism but may have a snap bor buckle, as the training period is considered to have a definitive start and end. During the time the collar is worn  the submissive responds to the commands and instructions of the training Dominant, which may also be their respective d-type, or not, depending upon the purpose of the training. Training for a permanent relationship collar usually takes approximate one year according to many traditions.

Usually a training collar does include an O-ring and two D-rings, one on either side for tethering as needed. Training collars are sometimes used for large scale training events as well, though the specifics of these event/collar arrangements may vary widely.

A training collar will be offered by the Dominant to the submissive. The submissive on accepting a training collar, should have a good understanding of what is required of her, and should be very much aware that her behaviour is a reflection of the training she is receiving from the Dominant whose collar she wears.

At this stage, there can often be conflicts in the minds of both Dominant and submissive. The Dominant now has the added responsibility of this particular submissive, and it may well curtail His exploration of other submissive's, unless of course it is agreed beforehand that there will be others involved.
The submissive can struggle to reconcile her mind to her submission, and her commitment to one person. She is no longer available for other potential Dominant's, and this can lead to feelings of less personal freedom in her life than before.

The collar is also a symbol of the devotion and commitment the submissive has for the Dominant.

By now, there have been many discussions about likes, dislikes, needs, desires, and discoveries about personalities and characteristics, with the underlying factor that there is real potential for this relationship to go deeper, and more committed than before.
A training collar signifies to other Dominant's and submissive's that this relationship is now on a more serious level, and has the potential to be a long term commitment.

The Dominant may now move into other areas of training and discipline and can often demand higher standards from the submissive than before.

The submissive, on accepting a training collar, should have a good understanding of what is required of her, and should be very much aware that her behaviour is a reflection of the training she is receiving from the Dominant whose collar she wears.

Honesty and trust are paramount in any relationship, but more so at this stage as this is the building block for the ultimate step in training as a submissive.

Upon placing your Training collar on your wrist today, please send your  Dominant a photo.

Today you will be putting on your white collar that you got as one of the course requirements;  this will be worn permanently by you whilst doing this training course with your Dominant.

Please remember to have a removable tag on it that has your Dominant's first name initial on it., make sure this can be removed or placed back on when needed, if you don't behave as your Dominant has asked you to, your Dominant will ask you to remove the tag with his initial on until you deserve it back on.

As respect to your dominant you also don't take it off or remove the collar to let someone else handle it.

No matter which collar you wear, remember what it represents and treat it with respect. Never neglect or dismiss your collar !

Today's to do Lost :

1) Make a wrist band collar out of a kitten collar and redesign it to be your wrist collar.

2) Put the bead on your training collar that has your Dominant's initial on.

3) Put your training collar on and send your Dominant a photo of it on and remember to smile.

4) Write Collar on your Ice cream stick painted white and keep it.


Grand Master Clinton

😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉

Good Evening Master Jamy
Here is my work for today :


1) Make a wrist band collar out of a kitten collar and redesign it to be your wrist collar.

2) Put the bead on your training collar that has your Dominant's initial on.

3) Put your training collar on and send your Dominant a photo of it on and remember to smile.

4) Write Collar on your Ice cream stick painted white and keep it.

💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

              I do hope and pray that you enjoyed learning all about Collars and why, how
                     they are used.  It does make the bond between submissive and
                              Dominant feel more real,  with a maybe of long term.

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Lesson 14 of 30 BDSM Limits ......

White Lesson 14/30


BDSM LIMITS  :


What you will need to complete today's lesson :
2X Ice cream sticks painted white.

What are hard and soft limits do you know ?

Today we are going to learn about hard and soft limits, as you go further in the course

you will get hard and soft limits to decide on and write down on a hard and soft limit sheet

that you will always keep with you.

You have made  section in your submissive file for your hard and soft limits, this will be

where you can write all your hard and soft limits in as you get them.

By the end of this course you will have a full list of your hard and soft limits so don't worry

about all of them today, just think of a few that come to mind.

What is the difference between soft and hard limits ?

I started to think about some of the issues I see in BDSM books and I don't think they were 

well understood or explained. Two related items that came to my mind quickly were soft and

hard limits.

 Setting Limits :

Both Bominan's and submissive's can set limits. Limits can be agreed to verbally or they can

be incorporated into a formal contract. Sometimes the participants engage in a formal

conversation about limits and boundaries; this is referred to as negotiations.

No Limits :

Some partners choose not to set limits. This is commonly seen  in total power exchange

dynamics, consensual non-consent, and edge play. Whether or not this type of arrangement

is considered "safe, sane and consensual" is a matter of some controversy in BDSM

communities. (We Don't Recommend These, And We Don't Recommend Having A No Limit).

Types of Limits :

The terminology varies slightly across different local communities and internet forums.

However there are general usages recognized across most BDSM populations.

Here is a definition of each.

A soft limit is something you're wary of but may try in the future, and hard limits are things

you absolutely are NOT okay with. And of course you have a safe word to stop play at anytime.

Soft Limit :

A soft limit is something that a person hesitates about or places strict conditions on, but for

which they may still give informed consent. An action could be prohibited except under specific circumstances or an area of discomfort that someone wishes to avoid. Soft limits can also include actions that require a cautious approach or while somewhat appealing still generate an uncomfortable amount of apprehension in one or more partners. 

A Soft limit is something which is not necessarily set in stone. It may be flexible, may be pushed or may change over time and/or with experience or knowledge of that type of play.

Hard Limit :

A hard limit is something that must not be done. Violating a hard limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a relationship.

A hard limit is what someone  absolutely will not do, usually non-negotiable (may or may not be subject to change over time, a hard limit will never change at all.).

Requirement limit :

A requirement limit, or must-limit, is something without which one or more partners will ot

participate in the scene. Examples include "lots of hair pulling is a must-limit for me" or "if

you're going to flog me, I'll need lots of aftercare.

Here is a bit more about Hard and Soft Limits :

HARD LIMITS vs SOFT LIMITS

Do you know your Hard Limits ?

Do you know your Soft Limits ?

A BDSM interaction can literally fly or fall based on this one, simple puzzle piece being in

place. I have seen the most well-meaning couples overlok this area with disastrous results,

and I have seen absolute  newbie's fly ecstatically with each other because they took the time 

to address these concepts well before they started to play. I cannot recommend enough that

each and every single person in the global BDSM/D/s/Fetish scene should know your own

hard and soft limits.

So the question comes up then : How do you know your limits, especially if you are a newbie ?

Read on and find out what to look for, what to address, and what to weigh out,,,,,

HARD LIMITS  :

A HARD LIMIT is a limit that is inflexible and won't change. Sure perhaps some unforeseen

circumstance ight sway that one day, but odds are against it. So how do you truly know

your own Hard Limits ?

A Hard Limit is a boundary you are aware of when you are in a state of absolute calm. You
cannot properly identify a hard limit if you are excited, sad, joyous, angry, passionate,
yearning, etc as the perception of what the limit is will be biased by the emotion and there
fore could sway easily in the opposite direction when the opposite emotion is experienced.
Therefore, if you really want to know your Hard Limits, examine them next time you are in a
state of complete peace and calm.

A Hard Limit can only be known from this state of simple, day-to-day simplicity. It is a state
that is untouched by fear, angst, irritation, anger, joy, bliss, ecstasy or any other emotion
that is even one step away from being completely centered. Your hard limits will feel very
Matter-Of-Fact.  Only when you are in such a state of absolute calm can you feel how straight
forward and easy it is to know your own hard limits. They come forth with this purely Matter-
Of-Fact quality, as easy as asking someone for a glass of water.

The submissive's hard limits will usually involve more specific kinds of activity or play. For
example a submissive who knows she has a phobia might have a hard limit in regards to
experiences which could elicit the phobic reaction. A claustrophobic submissive might be
fine with simple blindfolds and gags, but she may have a hard limit about full hoods or being
 enclosed in whole-body plastic-wrap bondage. What makes this a hard limit is that she
camly knows that such an experience would take her to a very uncomfortable place, possibly
from her own past experience. True, one day she may get past the phobia, but it can still be
a hard limit --- meaning absolutely not --- in the present.
The Dominant's hard limits are usually a bit more broadly phrased along the lines of "the
submissive will relinquish the following areas of control to me", this more or less delineates
what The Dominant absolutely requires to feel that He can preform His finest Art with the
submissive. The Dominant's Hard Limits might equally pertain to behaviours that the
submissive is not permitted, most often because they go against certain Protocols.
Both The Dominant and the submissive might also have simple, straight-forward, "itemised"
Hard Limits, such as "no golden showers," which wold plainly and simply indicate that they
are just not interested in that kind of play. Since a Dominant and submissive who are about
to embark into a submissive contract have usually been together for at least a short while,
odds are they already know what the other person is'In To". As such, the exact details of the
kinds of play that is mutual hard limits which are already known might be left unwritten in
the Contract. For example, if both have known from quite early on that neither is into golden
showers, then by the time of the Contract one could easily see it becoming a de facto (given
and understood) piece of knowledge and thus there is often no need to state this in the
Contract. Various other de facto elements are also often left out of a submissive contract,
unless one person feels an exceptionally strong need to have it in the Contract. Conversely,
sometimes a de facto element might simply word nicely so as to add to the poetic quality of
the Contract. The latter is more often the case of The Dominant's Hard Limits, which are often
stated in the Contract as the poetic "Rules" the submissive will abide by even though she may
already be quite happily living up to a variety of these Rules already.


SOFT LIMITS :

A SOFT or flexible limit is a boundary that one is open to having pushed or changed under the
right circumstances. It usually describes something that perhaps currently makes the submissive a little frightened or nervous, yet at the same time it equally intrigues her and draws her forward ever so slightly.

A soft limit means that perhaps at some point in the future, in a moment of trust, the submissive thinks she would be willing and even like to explore into that area. This soft limit, though the submissive does not want to try it in the present, has a flexible and therefore "soft" quality to the boundary, and the submissive's curtiosity is a door which may open in the future when the time is right. An example of a soft limit could be canes ( as above) as too intense for her based on her past threshold pushing experiences of the cane with previous amateur Dominant's. Yet at the same time, she may have seen other submissive's at various S&M parties absolutely smiling blissfully from being sensuously caned. She might feel that she is not ready to try the cane right away, but when the Dominant assures her that His style of caning is like the styles used on the smiling women at the club, the submissive might allow this soft limit to be tested. As such, she is communicating that one day she would like to try a sensual caning from the Dominant when she feels ready.
A Soft Limit is all about an accumulated building of trust in relation to the topic of the soft limit. To declare something a soft limit is to say, "Not right now, but one day I think I might like to try it" after trust is built.


Today's to do list :

1) After reading all this about hard and soft limits send to your Dominant a few hard and soft
     limits that you can think of at the moment then put it in your hard and soft limit section
     of your file.

2) Write about hard and soft limits in your hard and soft limit section and send it to your
     Dominant.

3) Write  Hard Limits on a white Ice cream stick and Soft Limits on another stick and keep
     them.

4) Send a photo to your Dominant of you holding all of your submissive sticks that you
     have so far.


Grand Master Clinton
😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉

Good Evening Master Jamy
Here is my work for today :


1) After reading all this about hard and soft limits send to your Dominant a few hard and soft
     limits that you can think of at the moment then put it in your hard and soft limit section
     of your file.

2) Write about hard and soft limits in your hard and soft limit section and send it to your
     Dominant.

3) Write  Hard Limits on a white Ice cream stick and Soft Limits on another stick and keep
     them.

4) Send a photo to your Dominant of you holding all of your submissive sticks that you
     have so far.

💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

          I do hope and pray that anyone who viewed this lesson on Hard & Soft Limits learned
     more about them and that they are necessary that they are put into place and that you
     as a Dominant and a submissive do know  your Hard & Soft Limits. I know from life's
     experience that not all Dominant's will honor a submissive's limits and not all Dominant's
     follow any protocols of the lifestyle. If you can't Trust your partner you should not be
     with them.  I wish all to play safely and to be safe and have fun.  SSC.

😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

White Lesson 13 of 30 Why We Need Positions.......

White Lesson 13/30


WHY WE NEED POSITIONS

What you will need to complete today :
1X Separator
1X Ice cream stick painted white

Why do Dominant's use submissive positions in BDSM submissive training ?

Submissive positions are often used by Dominant's to :
1) It allows you as a submissive to show your submission and devotion to your Dominant.

2) It forces you as a submissive to concentrate on obeying your Dominant.

3) It gives you as a submissive a feeling of helplessness and it reminds you of your status
    as a submissive.

4) It assists you in your training by establishing a controlled behaviour.

5) It can be used for when your Dominant is going to punish you and you will then have to
    assume a position for punishment, for example whipping.

6) It can be used for when your Dominant wants to examine your body, often as inspection.

7) It allows your Dominant to easily have sexual access to your body.

8) It helps you as a submissive to shape your behaviour.

9) It can simply be used by the Dominant for when He wants you to display yourself for His
    viewing pleasure.

10) It helps you as a submissive to learn patience.

11) A Dominant might just "Park" a submissive when not in use while she awaits additional
      orders from her Dominant.

12) It can be used to make you available for public display or to show off to others.

13) It also just makes the overall submissive management and control easier and flow
     smoother. This is the practical day to day purpose of submissive positions used during
     and after the training period. They provide a structure for you and a means for you to
     please your Dominant.

If and when submissive positions are used in submissive management :

The usefulness of submissive positions as a tool for managing your submissive's actions is

often overlooked. They have a very practical purpose as a tool for a Dominant. With one

word or hand gesture a Dominant places a submissive in a position that is useful and  or

pleasing to Him and reduces the amount of instructions that are needed to direct  her actions.

A submissive should be trained in a way that she can be quickly and easily managed. So the

submissive positions will provide this control.

In addition, the use of positions will assist a Dominant in making behavioural modification.

Positions create a feeling in her of helplessness to control the position and movement of

her body. Your behaviour is controlled by your Dominant and this reinforces training. You can

only change positions when your Dominant gives you an additional command to do so. It also

conditions you to move and act at your Dominant's command.

Inspection positions are used to inspect or examine your submissive body. This included not

only your skin, but your mouth, ears, vagina and anal area. Inspection positions are also used

to insure proper hygiene, examine bruises from scene play,  insure that you are following

shaving instructions, and reinforce in your mind that no part of you is private from your

Dominant.

Instruction positions are positions that are used for training a submissive. It is comparable to

sitting at a school desk and is used in teaching and communicating items of importance

during training. In other words, when you are placed in a instruction position, you know to focus on your commands and/or instructions intently.

Park a submissive. Often you will be given prior instructions as toa position and/or place you will locate yourself when not being used to carry out an order. You are to simply wait the next command. It can get old if your Dominant has to verbally park you after each order. So many Dominant's train you to automatically park yourself after completing a task and wait for the next order. This is simply effective submissive management. You are out of the way but her Dominant knows where you are when needed.

This can also serve to train you to be patient while awaiting your Dominant's next command. You are fully controlled but not interfering with your Dominant's present activities. You remain parked until receiving the next order. NOTE : Often a submissive is relieved to do household duties instead of being parked. Parking can be a useful tool, but also a waste of service time. It has to be up to your Dominant to decide.

There are also several submissive positions that are painful to hold for long period of time and some Dominant's use them for punishment or to train a submissive to focus on following orders.

Submissive positions are also used as part of scene play.

Positions can be used simply for art or beauty. If your Dominant enjoys viewing you in a particular position, you are pleasing Him by just assuming that position for your Dominant.

When you are ordered to assume a position, you should do it quickly and gracefully and without questioning the reason.

Today's to do List :

1) Make a position section in your file.

2) Write about this in your discussion section and send to your Dominant.

3) Write Positions on your Ice cream stick and keep it.

4) Think of a submissive position that you want to try and take a photo of you in the position, 

     then send it to your Dominant.

Grand Master Clinton

😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉

Good Evening Master Jamy

Here is my work for today :

1) Make a position section in your file.

2) Write about this in your discussion section and send to your Dominant.

3) Write Positions on your Ice cream stick and keep it.

4) Think of a submissive position that you want to try and take a photo of you in the position, 

     then send it to your Dominant.

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I hope you enjoyed doing this lesson and learning some about Positions. Leave a comment

if you choose and follow if you choose to. Have fun, play safe and always be safe.

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White Lesson 12 of 30 My Submissive Mantra ....

White Lesson 12/30


MY SUBMISSIVE MANTRA


What you will need to complete today ?
Items needed to make your mantra.
1X Ice cream stick painted white.
1X Separator for file.


Today is about making your own unique submissive mantra.

By definition a mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that are considered
capable of creating personal transformation, a powerful tool for self-development, healing
and manifestation. Dating back to thousands of years.

Mantras have also been integrated into the BDSM lifestyle and are yet another tool by
Dominants in submissive training.

Personal mantras are affirmations that we use to change aspects of our lives. Today,
mantras are more widely recognised as any statement that affirms the way we want to
live our lives.

Similarly to rituals, mantras are most operative at the inner self or subconscious level
and also like rituals are most useful for shaping a person's beliefs, self-image, thoughts
and behaviour, this Dominants use them for similar purposes. In fact, mantras are often
a featured aspect of BDSM rituals but they can also be used alone to form a ritual that
has no related act or actions attached. In these cases, the ritualised mantra generally
is intended to focus the submissive on times of deep personal introspection for the
purpose of helping them to find inner peace, improve self-esteem, and grow in self-
confidence or in self-awareness of their submissive nature. Also, like rituals, mantras
are a means of helping to strengthen the bond between Dominant and submissive.

Having your own personal mantra can be a path to peace.

You can then use the mantra whenever you feel stressed or out of focus with your
submission.

You can use your mantra on a daily basis to keep our mindset on your submission, to
help you stay focused on being submissive.


How do you create and design your submissive Mantra ?

1) Remember that a mantra has a specific wording structure designed to be repeatable,
     so that it sinks into your self-conscious.

2) Your submissive mantra should have a definite purpose, objective or goal.

3) Your mantra should have a direct link to specific life activities, events or rituals.

4) Your mantra should be brief, using relatively few words so that it is easily memorized
     and recalled for recitation.

5) Like rituals, the number of mantras a submissive is required to learn should be limited
     so they do not become a chore but something to be enjoyed.

6) To be most effective, your mantra should be recited aloud.

7) Make a list of three things that you want to change in your life. Use the phrase, "I am."
     For example, "I am moody" or "I am lazy."

8) Next to each of the three the things, write down the opposite phrase. "I am happy" and
     "I am being productive" work for the examples from above.

9) Now string them together in an affirmative revelation in any order that feels good to
     you. For the example, "I am a happy submissive consciously being productive in my
     submission."

10) Type or handwrite your phrase on an index card or note card. Please it somewhere you
     will see it throughout your day. You can tape it to your bathroom mirror, computer
     keyboard or refrigerator door. Repeat it to yourself several times throughout the day,
     silently or aloud. Make it a habit-first thing in the morning, before you go to bed and any
     time you find yourself focusing on the very things your mantra is intended to change.


Use your submissive mantra for as long as it feels helpful. At any time you can go through
the steps and create a new mantra to change other aspects of your life.

Some Dominant's like to do the mantra for the submissive, because sometimes the
Dominant and submissive are so close that the Dominant actually knows His submissive
better then the submissive knows herself.

If you repeat your mantra enough that it becomes a subconscious litany (your mind is
wandering while you say it) then you are embedding it in your mind and you can effect
change.

Eventually you will notice that saying your mantra is no longer something you just perform
like a "task". Your submissive mantra will become your constant reminder. It will bring
you peace, in your normal life and most of all in your submission. It will instil confidence.
It will provide positive direction in your everyday life. It is one of the many tools that you
will possess that will better your submission.

Most of all have fun and enjoy making your submissive mantra today.

Today's to do list :

1) Please send your Dominant a photo of you holding your finished submissive mantra.
 
2) Write mantra on your Ice cream stick and keep it.

3) Make an Art section in your file and make something nice with your mantra words
     and put it in your art section and show your Dominant.


Grand Master Clinton
😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉

Good Evening Master Jamy
Here is my work for today :

1) Please send your Dominant a photo of you holding your finished mantra.
     

2) Write Mantra on your Ice cream stick and keep it.

3) Make an Art section in your file and make something nice with your mantra words
     and put it in your art section and show your Dominant.

💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

Please leave a comment, I would love to hear what you would have to say !!

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White Lesson 11 of 30 Communication in BDSM .......

White Lesson 11/30


COMMUNICATION IN BDSM


What you will need to complete today :
1X Ice cream stick painted white

Today we are going to learn about Communication in BDSM relationships.

Being able to communicate effectively is the most important of all life skills.

Communication is simply the act of transferring information from one place to
another, whether this be vocally, written, visually or non-verbally.

How well this information can be transmitted and received is a measure of how good

your communication skills are.

Developing your communication skills can help all aspects of your life, from your

professional life to social gatherings and everything in between. The ability to 

communicate information accurately, clearly and as intended, is a vital life skill and

something not to be overlooked. It's never too late to work on you communication 

skills and by doing so improve your quality of life.

What is the most important thing in true BDSM relationships ? One can say that 

scenery plays a major role, others will probably say it's the good knowledge of the

partner's roles; some may even suggest it's the use of right BDSM toys that rules the

play. With all of these, one thing can be said for sure, there are no effective and 

successful relationships within BDSM relationships without good communication skills.

What is  good communication in BDSM relationships ?

Good communication is what we learn throughout our life and what quite difficult task is

for those who are not willing to cooperate. It'a a mistaken idea that BDSM relationships 

are about beating, torturing, punishments and all that stuff, this outward vision often hides

something more important, which is in any way a basis for any relationships.

I personally wish people would find out more about the lifestyle before they think this.

Communication is the most important aspect of a D/s relationship; it can either make or

brak most relationships, including your D/s relationship.

You can improve your D/s relationship today, right now, by putting into practice some of

these tips for improving the communication in your relationship.

1. Stop and listen to your Dominant/submissive.

2. Force yourself to hear.

3. Be open and honest with your partner.

4. Pay attention to nonverbal signals.

5. Stay focused in the here and now.

6. Try to minimize emotion when talking about important, big decisions.

7. Be ready to cede an argument.

8. Humour and playfulness usually helps.

9. Communicating is more than just talking.

To communicate better and more effectively in your relationship, you don't only have to talk.

You can communicate in other ways like through your actions, and nowadays, electronically

too (through email, Facebook, blog's, texting or Twitter).

All too often, couples focus only on the talking aspect of their relationship, but your actions

also speak loudly. Keeping in touch throughout the day or week through email or other

electronic means also reminds the person you're thinking about them and how important

they are in your life. Even if such communications are mainly playful or inconsequential, they

can help lighten your partner's day and improve their mood.

Some couples also find that using email or another method is easier to discuss emotional

issues rather than trying to do so face-to-face. It's something to consider if every time you

try and bring up a particular topic with your significant other, it turns into an argument or

they shy away from it. Email or texting may be a way of communicating about such matters

more openly and directly.

Nobody is a perfect communicator all the time. But you can work to become a better

communicator by trying a few of these tips. They won't all work, nor will they work  all the

time. Better communication, however, starts with one person making the effort to improve,

which often encourages the other to come along for the ride.

Communication is vital to the BDSM lifestyle, and you cannot effectively communicate if

everybody isn't using the same language.

What do you get from effective communication ?

It's the effective communication that distinguishes successful relationships from just a 

rough talk without any goal. What every communication act is basically aimed at is a 

result where both parties get what they expected from the very beginning and maybe more.

So what are the benefits of good communication ?

-- It gives you the opportunity to make a connection in a BDSM relationship deeper and

   stronger.

-- You get the notion of what the other part; either submissive or Dominant particularly wants.

-- It builds that special bond built on trust and mutual respect.

Good communication also includes :

1. Work on trust.

     The first things about building D/s relationship that are going to last is to have faith in

     each other. It can take you a while before you feel the other side can be trusted. In fact

     with the time trust is becoming stronger in the long run, unless you make an effort to 

     ruin it. If you try to keep things secret it can be ok for some situations, but when you

     just don't reveal your true intentions and feelings it's another pair of shoes. It's clearer

     when you say it directly about your likes and dislikes, your thoughts and intentions. 

     That's how a trust is built on and that's the communication which makes the relationship

     work for their purpose.

2. Make it clear and precise.

     A lot of disputes and misunderstanding have their roots in the communication which was

     not clear or precise. A steady flow of vague words are making conversation incompre-

     hensible. If you have something to say just do it in a direct manner. Try to get to the core

     of the matter and make precise orders or give more comprehensive answers. There is no

     good in unexpected things as BDSM scenery is supposed to be consensual. That's why

     such things may hold a great risk for both. The parties should be aware of the possible

     consequences and that is how specifying details carefully and precisely is of great 

     importance in BDSM play.

3. Learn to listen.

     Give your partner time to talk out until he has everything. Interrupting the other part half

     way shows your disrespect for him. It is sometimes  hard to put your deep emotions into

     words that's why listening carefully means you are calmly listening to the partner, and 

     make a pause giving any answer.

4. Give a feedback.

     It is also important not only to listen but to give a feedback to the one you talk to. Since

     all of us have our own perceptions and put different meanings into words, clarifying what

     has been said is useful to find a common ground. In order to really understand whether 

     you got it right, it's useful to say it over again to your partner. It is better to make things 

     clear right away and don't put off till the misunderstandings will accumulate and your

     communication will turn into claims.

5. Keep your emotions under control.

     Never consider BDSM play if you feel you are losing control of your emotions. Being angry,

     stressed or frustrated has no good for successful communication especially where the

     risk takes its place. This is especially true for the Dominant as He is the one to rule the

     game.

What is Healthy and Unhealthy Communication ?

Healthy Communication :

1. Make communication time a priority, Listen actively.

2. Maintain eye contact (as much as is possible).

3. Maintain a clear perspective of the past, present & future.

4. Be honest and don't assume anything.

5. When in doubt ask for more information.

6. Take time out if things get too intense, but always agree to come back and talk about

     the feelings.

7. Refrain from blaming or shaming.

Unhealthy Communications :

1. Shows resentment, is inflexible.

2. Withdrawals both emotionally and physically, blame the other person.

3. Escalates discussions into arguments, evades important issues.

4. Is dishonest.

5. Assumes the partner knows your desires, thoughts and needs, and is angry when they

     get it wrong.

6. Spends more time interrupting, rather than listening.

Try assertive speech -- Assertive speech is a type of communication in which individuals

clearly state their opinions and feelings, and firmly advocate for their rights and needs

without violating the rights of others.

It is noted that assertive speech is a tool that is exceptionally useful to both D-types and

s-types and is a foundational skill for healthy BDSM relationships.

1). Will you as the submissive promise to always communicate well with your Dominant ?

2). Will you as the Dominant promise to always communicate well with your submissive ?

3). Do you feel communication is important ?

Today's to do list :

1). Please answer the above questions in your discussion section of your file and send 

     them to your Dominant/submissive after reading everything.

2). Write about this in your  discussion section of your file and send a photo of it to your

     Dominant.

3). Write communication on a white Ice cream stick and keep it, this will be used soon.

Grand Master Clinton

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Good evening Master Jamy

Here is my work for today :

1. Please answer the above questions in your discussion section of your file and send

     them to your Dominant/submissive after reading everything.

2. Write about this in your discussion section for your file and send a photo of it to your

     Dominant.

3. Write communication on a white Ice cream stick and keep it, this will be used soon.

🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔

          I hope and pray that you learned all about Communication and how important

                it is for a relationship to succeed. As I know from experience that when

                     communication is not related to each party, how can a relationship

                         survive. It can't and the trust and bond that you developed is

                                now breaking down without proper communication.

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