Princess Collin: White Lesson 8 of 30 Trust in BDSM .......

White Lesson 8/30

Trust in BDSM

What you will need to complete today's lesson :
1X Ice cream stick painted white.

Today we are going to learn about TRUST in the BDSM community.

Last lesson we discussed Honesty, and Trust goes with
Honesty, they work together, but how do we build up the
Trust ? The answer is time.

According to most vanilla people BDSM is about the pain,
and the sex. But it's not about the pain, and sex, it's about
Trust and Honesty.

The first thing I want to say about Trust is the Trust comes
from yourself. No one can make you Trust them. We Trust
others to the extent that we Trust ourselves, we Trust our-
selves to make good decisions. When Trust is broken or
betrayed, you might feel that it has been so damaged you
can never Trust again. It destroys D/s and relationships and hobbles one"s ability to relate
to others because Trust is one of the key foundations in a BDSM relationship.

What does Trust mean in a D/s relationship ?

Trust is one of the four basic building blocks to any Dominant submissive or BDSM relation-ship. A successful BDSM relationship is built on this concept of Trust. Trust is difficult to define
because it means different things to different people. And ut us one if the key foundations
in a BDSM relationship.

Whether it is Trusting limits that will be respected, Trusting of judgment in making decisions,
or Trusting in aftercare and follow through, there are a wide and diverse range of issues to
be considered.

If we look at Webster and his dictionary, we find Trust is defined as "Confidence" in the
integrity, ability, character, and Trust of a person or thing. One in which confidence is placed.
Custody, care. Something committed into the care of another, charge. The condition and
resulting obligation of having confidence place in one. Reliance on something in the future,
hope.

Reading that definition makes a few people I know wonder if perhaps Mr. Webster was a
participant in this lifestyle. Read through the definition a second time, look to see how many
of those words are key elements of a Dominant/submissive or BDSM relationship ?

In finding your Dominant, aren't you looking for someone that fits this description refectly ?

As a submissive, you are getting ready to turn your whole life over to Him, you're expecting
Him to have the ability to care for you, and you're expecting He's been honest and forthright with you.

It doesn't end that simply, it's not just a matter of the Dominant being open and honest with the submissive, the submissive also has a responsibility to be just as open with the Dominant. Regardless of the role in
this lifestyle, misleading your partner can only end up backfiring on you.

Whatever the cost, whatever the effort involved, both the Dominant and the submissive must
make every effort to always be open, Honest and Trustworthy.

If issues are approached in the initial stage of a relationship that you're not quite ready to
reveal to your partner, then that should be stated. Don't try to skirt the issue; don't try telling
a "white lie" to get around it. Be open and Honest; tell your partner you are not ready to dis-
cuss that issue. Given time, and a bit of patience, as you begin to truly Trust your partner you'll
find yourself beginning to open up.

Trust, like love doesn't happen instantly.
Yes we have all learned to develop a bit
of an instinct or inner feeling, and for
most of us, more often than not, if we
follow those feelings we'll find we're right.
But true unquestioned Trust will take time
to establish.

Trust like love, is a verb. When we Trust
we rely on something or someone we are trusting. When we can be relied upon we
are being Trustworthy. Even though this
word is only five letters, it is very big in
its meaning and in its function. In the
world of D/s Trust is the foundation upon which everything else is built.

Before a submissive can give herself completely to her Dominant she must know that she can TRUST Him. The submissive must be able to Trust the Dominant to respect the
submissive's limits, and that He will not hurt the submissive, the submissive must know that
the Dominant will always have safety first on His mind, and will not leave the submissive
without the basic necessities of life. The Dominant must be able to Trust the submissive to carry out the needed tasks, obey, please, and to be fully faithful and safe in the same way that
He, as a Dominant, is expected to do.

Always remember that full and complete Trust in your partner will be the difference between
a successful D/s relationship and a relationship filled with hurt, fear and danger.

You not going to just let someone tie you up if you don't Trust them are you ?
So without Trust in a BDSM relationship you don't have one of the main building blocks of the
very foundation that you D/s relationship is built on.

Be Predictable ----- predictability builds Trust.

Be Reliable --- Trust is just another way of saying you can rely on someone. You Trust your
Dominant/submissive to do certain things no matter what at all times. This Trust builds
security in a Dominant/submissive relationship. The same thing is true when you are able to
depend on all the other things that happen in a relationship to be just as reliable.

Mean what you say --- Your partner can read your face better than anyone else. If you are
lying, or trying to hide some true feeling by not quite saying all that is on your mind, they
will be able to tell. They might even think you are cheating, which can tear down the Trust in
your relationship. When they know they can Trust whatever comes out of your mouth without
hesitation, then you are building a bond that can be unshakable.

Have faith in your Dominant/submissive capabilities. In other words, if you believe at all that
they are not competent in some things, or all things they do, your Trust in them will not be
solid. If this is the case, you need to be up front with them on the issues in an Honest and
loving manner. This will allow you to work through this and keep the Trust with each other.

Be up front with each other --- Don't keep anything hidden, nothing should be privileged and
kept from the other. You have to know that sooner or later all things come to light, and the
consequences of not being completely Truthful will kill the Trust, and ruin you relationship.

Trust you Dominant --- How can your Dominant Trust you when you don't Trust Him ? Having
Trust takes two people, and without one person building Trust too, it's like a fish without water.

What happens when you in an online Dominant/submissive relationship ? Because then Trust
is the only answer because in most relationships, the Dominant provides a formal structure
that the submissive must adhere to. If the relationship is long distance, the Dominant only has
the submissive's word that they are adhering to boundaries, and truly performing tasks
established by the Dominant. The Dominant must Trust in the submissive's word that they are
doing as they are directed. Sometimes, it is so tempting to merely say, "Yes, I did or didn't do
something," when in reality you are telling a lie to make your life a little easier. The submissive
also has to Trust that the Dominant will fulfil their responsibilities to the submissive. If the
Dominant does not fulfil these responsibilities, the submissive may slowly start to rebel, often
not realizing what they are doing until it is too late. The decisions and choices you make with
respect to unsupervised obedience will be your own.

TRUST means that you as a submissive know that your Dominant will do the following .....

1) Can I as a submissive Trust you as my Dominant not to harm me ?

2) Can I as a submissive Trust you as my Dominant to keep me safe ?

3) Do I as a submissive behave in ways that are Trustworthy toward my Dominant ?

4) Will I as the submissive promise to always be Trustworthy toward my Dominant ?

5) A question for the Dominant partner. Will you as my Dominant always be Trustworthy
toward me ?

6) Can you think of a few more questions, if yes write them down, and ask you Dominant ?

Today's to do list ;

1) After reading everything today spend a few moments thinking about Trust, and then please
answer all the above questions in your discussion section of your file, and send the answers
you came up with to your Dominant.

2) Write about Trust in your discussion section of your file and send a photo of it to your
Dominant.

3) Write Trust on your Ice cream stick and keep it.

Grand Master Clinton

🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏

Good Evening Master Jamy
Here is my work for today :

1) After reading everything today spend a few moments thinking about Trust, and then please
answer all the above questions in your discussion section of your file, and send the answers
you came up with to your Dominant.