White Lesson 09/30
RESPECT in BDSM
What you will need to complete today :
1X Ice cream stick painted white.
Today we are going to learn about RESPECT in the BDSM community, because
Respect is very important in the lifestyle.
Don't expect respect, earn it.
One of the biggest rules is to have respect for your Dominant and those around
Him at all times. Failure to do so not only embarrasses those around you, but
your Dominant as well. To embarrass your Dominant is to cause shame not only
on Him but to yourself.
Respect, is to have an attitude of esteem towards; show or have respect for one's
Dominant, to pay proper attention to show consideration for your Dominant and to
treat Him courteously or kindly, and for a Dominant not violate and to respect the
submissive's boundaries to.
When you are a newbie submissive entering into the BDSM lifestyle you hear a lot
about 'consent' and 'intent' and how to play safely. What we don't seem to hear
enough about is respect. Respect is one of the key values that keep what we do as
kinksters from being abusive. Without respect, there is no honour and no trust.
Without respect intent becomes another pavestone in hell, and consent is meaning
less.
But, as submissive's, we have an extra responsibility to ourselves, our training, and
most of all, our Dominant's, to think before we speak, even in highly volatile or
emotional periods. If we think before speaking, then when we do say something while
emotional or angered it will come out calm and respectful toward your Dominant.
A word about Respect: With a modest and unassuming attitude, offer respect where
it is due. You need to have respect for yourself before you can respect others. It means
you behave in such a way that you can get up with yourself in the morning and go to
bed with yourself at night knowing you made the best choices you could.
"Respect" does not mean "submission". Granting others the place they have chosen
for themselves does not make you indebted to them, nor does it indicate your full
agreement with their ways.
Don't use Respect as a "gift". Simply offer it.
Don't use Respect as a "weapon". Those who don't deserve your respect will lose it,
but it shouldn't be dangled like a carrot. The idea that everyone must work to "earn"
your respect is disrespectful in itself. Everyone deserves respect unless they prove
themselves unworthy of it.
Being a submissive means: to give all of yourself and to be setting an example to
those around you. Behaving in a manner not befitting a submissive shows your
training and extends to your Dominant. People will think of Him as to soft and
unworthy of leadership. Therefore a submissive should always behave and become
a model for others to follow. A Dominant's teachings should be ever present in her
everyday activities including in public.
Always use the proper form of address in BDSM spaces. No one but your Dominant
needs to be addressed as "Master". However, all Master's and Dominant's should be
addressed as "Ma'am" or "Sir" regardless of their age, their experience or how you
personally feel about them. If they don't wish to be addressed by title, they will tell
you so. (If you have had an unpleasant personal experience with someone, and
therefore truly believe they are undeserving of your respect, ask your Master's/Dom's
permission before excluding a title.)
The main thing to remember is to always think before you speak. Always remember
your place and the respect you have for your Dominant, other people and yourself.
Unless you are a member of the BDSM Regulatory Board, it is not your place to
determine a person's stature or to decide if they meet the requirements for "Master"
or "Dominant" or "slave" or "Top" or "bottom", etc. No one has to meet your require-
ments unless you are directly involved with them. In the absence of a structured
method of community collaboration regarding titles, it is prudent to assume each
person deserves your respect.
Respect --- a prerequisite for Trust.
Respect MUST go both ways !!
This not only applies to the submissive respecting the Dominant; but also applies
to the Dominant respecting the submissive.
BEING SUBMISSIVE DOESN'T MEAN BEING A DOORMAT !!!!
Outsiders may see a Dominant apparently treating a submissive without respect.
This is simply not true !!
All D/s Relationships should be within the SSC code ie. Safe, Sane and Consensual.
Certainly all those naughty schoolgirls seeking control and punishment must be adult
because a child (defined as a person under 19) cannot give a valid consent.
If you're a submissive playing with a Dominant who doesn't respect your self-esteem
as well as your physical self, then you may be involved with an abusive rather than an
ethical Dominant. Rethinking your continued involvement in this relationship is strongly
encouraged !!
Once you become more respectful in your everyday life, others will notice and follow.
Both equally need and deserve respect from one another. Respecting each other is
also a prerequisite for Trust.
By following these simple tips, it can help you earn the respect of your peers and
your Dominant.
Don't let emotions get the best of you. To earn respect, you must be willing to remain
calm and collected regardless of the situation. ......
Show that you are a leader. .....
You are a problem solver. .....
Earn respect by giving it. .....
Keep your word. .....
1) Keep your promises :
This is by far one of the most important actions you can take to start gaining respect.
If you took commitments lightly in the past, don't do that anymore.
2) Stop apologizing :
People who are constantly saying "I'm sorry," without giving it a second thought are
usually not the ones that are well respected. There is a time and place for apologies. Sometimes you make mistakes that affect family and friends. You can apologize to
them. Meanwhile, stop using the word "sorry" a hundred times an hour for every little
thing that goes wrong, especially in the workplace.
3) Don't waste other people's time :
If you respect others' time, they will respect yours. This includes not being late for
appointments, not spending meetings talking about useless items, getting to the
point fast, bringing up issues right away, being succinct, and of course, making it
easier for others to make decisions, especially when they are busier than you.
4) Stop gossiping immediately :
Always act as if the person you're talking about is right there with you. You need to
respect others even if you don't like them.
5) Practice humility :
You're not always going to be right and you're not the best at everything. Every person
you meet can teach you something. Confidence doesn't come from a place where
you're the best. True confidence comes from understanding humility, and that every
person has something unique to offer to the world, including you.
6) Stand up for someone else :
When you see injustice around you, do you ignore it in order to avoid confrontation ?
Sometimes you have no choice, but there are moments when you need to stand up
others, especially when they cannot stand up for themselves. You don't need to
please everyone. Don't be afraid of confrontation once in a while, as long as you do
it in a diplomatic way.
7) Stop talking :
Sometimes you need to stop talking and listen. People who talk endlessly without
pause are not usually respectful ( with very few exceptions). Listen to others. Stop
talking about yourself all the time. Genuinely listen to people --- really listen and try
to understand them. Use silence to your advantage. Not every pause should be filled
up with noise. Taking a moment to consider a thing before you open your mouth is
almost always going to command respect.
8) Care about others :
Start caring about others. Pay attention to your surroundings and the people in your
life, whether it is at work, home, or church. Genuinely caring about others and showing
concern during times of need shows empathy --- a powerful trait of good leadership. It
also shows that you don't only focus on yourself, and that you have the emotional
capability to pay attention and give help when needed. Not everyone can do this, which
is why it is so important.
9) Control your emotions :
Make sure to curb your instant reactions to things that make you highly emotional ---
whether it is good or bad. Sure, it's OK to be yourself and show enthusiasm. But
remember that good leaders and well respected people know the difference between
responding and reacting. The latter is not a good habit.
1) Do you show respect ?
2) Will you as the Dominant/submissive promise to always be respectful towards your
Dominant/submissive ?
Today's to do list :
1) Please answer all the above questions in your discussion section of your file, and send
it to your Dominant after reading everything.
2) Write about respect in your discussion section of your file, and send a photo of it to
your Dominant.
3) Write respect on your Ice cream stick and keep it.
Grand Master Clinton
🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎
Good evening Master Jamy
Here is my work for today :
1) Please answer all the above questions in your discussion section of your file, and send
it to your Dominant after reading everything.
2) Write about respect in your discussion section of your file, and send a photo of it to
your Dominant.
3) Write respect on your Ice cream stick and keep it.
🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏
Again I hope your enjoyed learning all about Respect. Without Respect it is hard to
have a meaningful and happy relationship. Remember don't expect Respect, earn it. If you
would like to make a comment, please do so and I will reply to your comment.
🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬
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